Recently I went back through all my old journals and I realized that they're all about men. Falling for them, getting my heart broken by them, making the same mistakes over and over. In some sense, it's completely pathetic, in another, we all go through it so there's really nothing of which to be ashamed. Unfortunately, it doesn't make for a very interesting read. This is probably why I don't get many comments on my blog. That's ok. I don't really mind, this is more just a place to get my thoughts out anyway.

I just hate that when I like someone so much and realize they don't want me, having to let them go drives me crazy. It almost hurts worse than being unloved. It's basically saying "you have so much potential and you can do so much, but I'm giving up on you because there's no way you can live up to my expectations." Though I honestly believe they can. Then at the same time you have to wonder, why don't they believe in me as much as I do them? What makes me so worthless in their eyes?

I grew up with men and always thought I knew what they wanted. And when I give it to them, it's not what they want. But when women give them what they really want, they complain, call us heartless bitches, turn to women like me for comfort, and then go back to the vicious cycle once they feel better.

Sometimes I hate knowing I'm worth more. Then I wouldn't feel so isolated.